Today I am starting my version of a pregnancy blog. It won't really be "published" for quite some time, as right now this little baby is a big secret, but I wanted to keep track of all the ups & downs of being a mom-to-be, hopefully with a little more regularity than I did as a bride-to-be. I guess we'll see!
PSA: This blog is about to get real, so proceed with caution. Moms and other moms-to-be, you'll probably be fine. Everyone else, read at your own risk. Pregnancy has some pretty interesting side effects and uh, adventures, if you will. (from what I've heard, anyway)
That being said...
I found out I was pregnant on April 20, 2013. I had been exhausted-with-a-capital-E for about a week, and a few other little symptoms (hello, sore boobs!) tipped me off to the teeny tiny possibility that I might, in fact, be "with child." I use an app to keep track of my cycles and thought my "dot", as the husband likes to call it, was still a day away. I double checked, though, and my cycle has been consistently shorter lately, so I decided okay, I'm taking a test. I have to know. Less than two minutes later... the word PREGNANT flashed loud and clear at me from that little digital window. Tears flowed down my checks, and from that moment on, I knew my life would never, ever be the same.
I went downstairs, apprehensive to show my husband... I mean, we just bought a house, moved in 3 weeks ago, and while we have always planned to start a family, we hadn't exactly planned to right. this. second. He was probably more shocked than I was, even though we had discussed my potential "symptoms" a day or two before, but he hugged me and we cried together - a mixture of happiness, shock, and just not knowing what else to do at that point, I think!
I immediately "felt pregnant." I suddenly "knew" what my body had been telling me, and as soon as I crossed that line, there was no going back. We went off to Target that very afternoon for prenatal vitamins, another test (just to be sure), and some reading materials. Of course, as soon as I got home & started reading, I suddenly felt completely unprepared, incompetent, and behind. As we weren't "trying", I didn't know anything I was supposed to know, I wasn't already taking the vitamins, I'd been drinking, I'd been eating, I'd been doing all kinds of crazy things! Oh no! I've screwed up my kid already!!!
As it turns out, "my kid" was still just a ball of cells, most likely, so I calmed myself of these fears, and vowed to change my ways, immediately. Which, of course, I did. It's funny that your body starts telling you what to do and what not to do almost immediately. I knew I had to cut back on caffeine, but within 3 days I literally didn't want it anymore. Like, at all. I tried decaf and it disgusted me. I got a hazelnut macchiato from Starbucks (currently, or I should say formerly now, my absolute favorite drink) and could not drink more than half of it (it was only a tall). I didn't even miss wine that much! (that would eventually change, of course.)
I was and am so excited to finally embark on this "journey" (I know, I'm cheesy). Terrified, but really and truly ecstatic. I have always known I wanted and dreamed of having children, of becoming and being a mother. It is the one thing in this life I feel so strongly about; the only thing I have ever known for sure that I wanted to do. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to create life, and that we were able to easily get pregnant. So many suffer through miscarriages and infertility, and though I know we are in no way out of the woods, I just feel there is a healthy, strong little baby in there, and that this is meant to be right now.
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