Rambling.

Sometimes I start posts, then run out of time, forget about them, and never get around to finishing. I started this post last weekend, and now with this weekend fast approaching, I thought I ought to either finish it or trash it. So we open on last Saturday morning...


It's Saturday morning, and I'm still in bed, as usual. This whole week I've been exhausted, regardless of the amount of sleep I've been getting, and up and down with my typical spring allergy woes. I desperately needed and wanted to sleep in today.


Yesterday I woke up with a rare for me these days, but terrible hangover. I seriously cannot believe I used to be hungover just about every Friday-Sunday morning in college. Not that I was some completely crazy party girl, but we like to have a good time at Sewanee, and I actually did not really drink before going to college, so it took me a bit to get the hang of it.


Thursday night I went out to my favorite little Indian restaurant in Kittery, Tulsi, with Jess from work, then we went to the Red Door for Johnny & Judd's monthly gig there. It was a deader than a doornail kind of Thursday night until the evening was almost over, when some other friends showed up, including one of Johnny's close friends and possible groomsmen who had just arrived home from the winter away in Utah. So that's when it got a little crazy. Also, while it was deader than a doornail, Judd thought taking tequila shots would be a good way to "start the party" and if we took them, more people would come. Let me tell you something (in case you don't already know this), whatever your reason for deciding to take tequila shots, it's almost always a bad idea. Why people continue to do it, I don't know. Tequila shots never end well, at least not for me. At this point in my life, I probably take actual shots about twice a year, and regardless of how much I try to pace myself or drink water to compensate afterward, I never, ever, feel well the next day. And the older I get, the more it hurts. And the longer it lasts. Ughhhhhh.


Anywho, I didn't have to work until noon yesterday, but I woke up relatively early feeling absolutely awful. I randomly decided to log into my Comcast account, to look into canceling our service since we're going to be moving in the not too distant future. Of course, we still hadn't heard from the landlord, so we had no idea if we can even move out or when, or if we should be looking for a tenant to take over the rest of the lease.


So I get into Comcast only to see that our bill has suddenly increased drastically, and I immediately try to get on the phone and figure it out. Roughly an hour and a half later, I had canceled our service, then uncanceled it and only canceled the cable since we need internet, and talked to about 3 or 4 different people, I can't remember now, but I was very, very irritated, frustrated, and angry. Mini rant: why the heck is it SO effing hard to talk to a real person, get them to explain anything logically to you, listen to you, answer your ACTUAL questions, and just get what you want in an efficient manor when it comes to these big companies and these stupid stupid STUPID automated phone system crap things. ARRRGGGHHHHHH! In case it wasn't obvious, this is one of my BIGGEST frustrations and pet peeves with the world today. I don't like talking on the phone anyway, let alone when it is a call to deal with some issue or problem (who does like dealing with issues & problems after all?), so when they make it THAT much more difficult and unpleasant, my inner bitch really comes out. I also think that having to press 1, 2, 4, 1, 1, and then maybe 0 just to get a human being (albeit probably someone in India or China who you can barely understand) on the phone is really really REALLY a waste of everyone's time, energy, and resources.


So that lovely experience caused my head to throb angrily and my hangover to feel even more painful. Next up, get ready for work. As usual, I'm running later than I should be and then I get a couple of texts from J (and get stuck at the bridge I think. grr.) about a weird convo with our landlord. You see, at the end of March, I sent, with our rent check, a nice little letter explaining our situation (which Johnny had already called and talked to him about a few weeks prior) and that we would like to give our 30 days notice, but please let us know what he would like from us in terms of finding a new tenant or getting someone to take over the remainder of the lease, blah blah blah. Well, as I mentioned before, we haven't heard from him since, so Johnny finally called and he was basically just like "well, are you moving or not?" So all this time we're thinking hmm, maybe we won't be moving until mid-late May because we are actually trying to be responsible/good tenants about this, and now all of a sudden he's basically well either get out or don't. So apparently we're moving! In two weeks! And haven't started packing, cleaning, organizing or doing ANYTHING! Super!!


Fast forward to today (Thursday), we have still done (mostly) nothing. I am TERRIBLE at packing and moving. Honestly I am really such a problem child. And such


On a completely separate note, we have officially passed the 500 day mark until the wedding! 499 and counting! Thank goodness because geez I already feel like we are having the longest engagement EVER. I am really ready to start getting some stuff done and some decisions made. Lucy (Maid of Honor) gets home this weekend, parents are getting closer to finishing the house (I hope), and I am starting to make at least tentative plans with various bridesmaids as to when they are or could be around to help with things, go bridesmaid dress shopping, come to an engagement party, etc. I want to get a lot of the major planning done this summer, because it just makes sense to do it during the appropriate season. It should make it easier to see the "vision", if you will, come to life, and find ways to save money such as going with the "in season" flowers or produce, booking in advance, working with our connections, or all of the above!


On another, completely separate note, I think I may have found my dress! I know I know I know! SOOOO exciting! It totally came out of nowhere... I went to my appointment at Madeleine's for the Bliss trunk show last Sunday, truly not expecting anything other than to get a better handle on what I am looking for, and Chelsi, my consultant, just happened to pull a dress she thought would be great for me because I off-hand mentioned I liked some lace. The first time I put the dress on I liked it, but I wasn't really looking at it with any thoughts of it being "the dress." Since she kind of pulled it on a whim, I didn't know the price, hadn't tried anything else by that designer, and really didn't think it was the silhouette or style I was looking for - even though it was beautiful. But this is why you a) trust your consultant, and b) at least TRY things, especially if different than what you think you may want. My first impression of the dress was that it was beautiful and fit me very well. We decided it was worth keeping in the room, but quickly moved on, back to focusing on the Bliss dresses since I was there for the trunk show. We moved through the appointment extremely efficiently, eliminating dresses before I even stepped on the pedestal, debating longer over a few because they were the more traditional ballgown silhouette I had been after - but I just wasn't getting that "I'm a bride" or "this is it" feeling. I was having a hard time letting that idea, that vision, of the princess bride with the poofy, sparkly ballgown out of my head. In the end, we had one fuller dress, pure white with crystals & beading, and the other dress left in the room. We started trying more that were similar to the sleeker silhouette, and with each dress I realized I was thinking it didn't have this or that, it wasn't quite as nice, and that I was missing that other dress, hanging there, wanting to put it back on. Needless to say, once I put it back on, I never got back into the second, more "traditional" dress I'd been holding onto. She brought in a veil and as I stood there, picturing myself on my wedding day, walking down the aisle to Johnny, dancing with him and all of our friends, having the time of my life, I noticed how perfectly the dress, the fit, the look, the whole style of it "matched" my ring - and me. Then I cried. I had that feeling, that moment that I'd been told about and that I'd been hoping for, that same feeling you get when you know he's the one... I felt in my gut that this dress was the one. In a way, it has everything I wanted in a dress - it just looks drastically different than in the picture in my imagination. However, it somehow seems to fit me, perfectly, even more so than the dream dress - the Pnina - I've been obsessing over for a little too long.


I haven't been able to stop thinking about the dress, and even though I haven't purchased it, and I do plan to visit at least one more bridal shop and try a few more dresses, I feel in my gut that if it's possible (because it is a little over the budget...), that this will be the dress. I've shown a couple of friends, and they all LOVED it! I won't be posting any pictures or even hints here, though, because of course Johnny won't be seeing it before the day and honestly I do want it to be a surprise for most people. I mean, that's part of why the dress has always been so important to me - everyone wants to know, what's the bride going to wear?! There's also something about that moment - finding your dress - and feeling like it's really your dress, that is so special and so personal that you kind of don't want to share it with everyone, only the people closest to you, who truly love you and know you the best and can appreciate the significance of the whole thing.


So that was my weekend. And I do apologize that my posts are fewer, less frequent, more random, and in some cases, like this one, delayed. Maybe after we get through this whole moving thing and I get my life a little more under control, I'll be able to blog more regularly. That would be nice.