Finally Friday.

(be forewarned - this is a very long post!)


Sometimes...okay almost always... I get to Friday and just feel like crap. Actually the best word for it is just grumpy. I wake up in the morning feeling like, oh thank goodness I made it through another week! TGIF! I'm going to be in such a great mood today! I can't wait for the weekend, woohooo! And then the day drags, annoying little things get under my skin, I don't feel like working so I'm unproductive and displeased with myself, and I may or may not have mentioned this word before....exhausted.

So this post has two topics: topic #1 is for my dear friend Melissa from Sewanee (shout out!). She happened to suggest a little topic for my blog and I happened to encounter a situation that COMPLETELY fit the bill just last night/today. Topic #2 is more ranting about budgets and dreams and things not going how I want them to right now. We shall get to that later.

Melissa's topic was how hard it is sometimes to be a "classy, well-mannered, says-the-right-things lady" in this crazy, mixed up modern-day world we're living in -- and to do to so not only in daily life but also say on facebook (because we all know that's a whole other can of worms). This is a great topic, especially when it comes to wedding planning and I know there will be countless examples of times I need to exhibit such behavior, and I hope (for their sake more than my own!) others will too when it comes to me & my wedding. The situation I just encountered, is that apparently others, even strangers, sometimes do not always feel the need to do so. And for lack of a better way of putting it, it really effing pisses me off, leaves me livid and ruins my day! every time!

I believe I owe some of my well-mannered, lady-like ways to my time in the South. I think I was definitely raised to be a classy woman, but seriously, it takes on a whole new meaning down there. My closest friends from college, most of them had excellent manners, in addition to VERY strong opinions about  those manners, what is and is not appropriate, and who is and is not appropriate. It was actually quite entertaining for me at times, not being a Southerner by birth, and I must admit, I think it did add a certain level of judgmental-ness to my personality that I don't always love and try to overcome where appropriate. I know I have high expectations of people, just as I do for myself, and sometimes I guess they are a little too high. Sometimes, though, some people could stand to raise their standards...just a little.

Moving home, back to Yankee territory if you will, I started to realize that I find some people truly obnoxious and completely tactless. I'm sorry, I just do. Last night, I happened to encounter two such people. Two completely obnoxious, tactless, classless women (in my humble opinion) graced us with their presence last night at the Red Door, where Johnny spins with a friend about once a month on Thursday nights. They were probably drunk, but you know what, they were rude - and in a way that I do not believe there is any excuse for. Even after learning that I was not just his "girl" but his future WIFE, these two girls were blatantly hitting on my fiancé RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, and completely making no effort to involve me in the conversation whatsoever. In fact, they seemed to be purposefully blocking me out of it. To add insult to injury, apparently after I headed home (since I did have to work today -- and I was going to get really pissed off if I stayed there, so I just excused myself from the situation), they actually had the nerve to tell Johnny he should not be marrying me, that he was too young to settle down.

EXCUSE ME?! I'm sorry, did I miss something????????? In what way, and when, did this kind of behavior from "adults" (I do believe these two women were older than us by at least a couple of years) become appropriate?! WTF! I would like to add - in case it was not obvious - we had never met either of these two people before. I guess it probably would have been worse, if we did know them, but whatever, they knew enough so SHUT UP.

I'm sorry, maybe now I'm being the un-classy one bitching about it on a blog - this is one of those situations, Miss Melissa, where it is really hard for me personally to calm my temper and bite my tongue ... I did earlier on facebook, but I'm choosing to write about it now, because a) it really really ticked me off, and b) I feel like the people reading this can probably sympathize and identify with the vile female creatures who behave this way. It is NOT me being a jealous, bitchy, or overprotective girlfriend/fiancé. Your behavior is inappropriate, uncalled for, and quite frankly immature. I know, I know, they are probably just jealous and insecure, but don't they realize they feel pathetic or alone, BECAUSE they act this way - it is not going to help the situation! I just wanted to vomit all over my desk when Johnny was telling me about the rest of last night. Honestly, I cannot believe people like this exist and get away with this crap. I mean, really? Really?!

Now, I'm not sure this was exactly what Melissa was hoping I would get at, but I promise someday I will find a good story/example and venture into the part about how during wedding planning "it's especially important to keep the Classy Lady turned on during possible hot topics." And, again to quote her - it's just good policy in life, I think.

The Classy Lady in this situation was turned on last night when she let it be and left the party. Went home, washed her face, and got some rest. She was also turned on when she typed a facebook status rant this afternoon, stared at it for a minute, then deleted the gory details, which to be perfectly honest were getting at some comments from someone who is actually a "friend" and on facebook... and wrote instead, "everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sometimes it's prudent to keep it to yourself!" Which, in short, sums up my Classy Lady theory, and is, I feel, the best advice for behavior in all situations. If you're not sure how your opinion is going to be received (or if you KNOW it's not going to be received well), it probably is best to keep it to yourself. You ARE entitled to feel the way you feel, and sometimes it's a good idea to get that out there. But, if the results of getting it out there are possibly to deeply offend someone, cause long term damage or scarring to a relationship/friendship, likely not to make any difference in the other person's opinion, OR not really make any difference for YOU personally in the long run, then getting it out there won't be necessary - thank you very much. 

Last but not least on this topic, one key example of when to keep your mouth shut: How you feel about a friend's fiancé. First of all, if you have "legitimate" concerns about the relationship, if you are that good a friend, you probably should have brought it up by now. If you didn't, or if your friend didn't take your advice, the time has passed. Once the decision has been made, the deal is done, let it go. shut your mouth. zip your lips. it's not your life, it's theirs, and they have made their decision. If you are truly a friend, you will accept and support that decision. They have chosen the single person they care most about in the world and they want to spend the rest of their life with. Most of the time, a significant amount of thought and soul-searching probably went into this decision. If you presume that your opinion is THAT valid - and that important to them - to alter that decision they took under such serious consideration, you better have a damn good reason to think so. Or, I repeat, shut your mouth. But really, stop and think about why it's so important to you. Ask yourself why you care so much, you're not marrying the person! If your friend is making a bad decision, hey, that's their cross to bear and their problem to deal with down the road. At this point, you should be happy for them and give them the best chance at having not only a happy engagement and wedding, but a happy marriage. I believe the people who really need to know this are probably not reading this blog. They probably don't have the first idea about tact, let alone marriage or relationships on any level for that matter! But there it is, my current biggest pet peeve. And the end of this rant.


So this Lady may be a little less classy right at this moment for venting about this, in this way, but I really needed to - so thank you for listening.

Topic #2 is going to have to wait, because I'm exhausted, and I need my beauty sleep for our engagement shoot with Tess J tomorrow! (Photo credit for the top of this blog goes to her. I love love love her work and am SO excited to shoot with her again and hopefully have her do our wedding! www.tessjphotography.com) It's going to be in Ogunquit, in the cold and the snow, where we got engaged, so you will all get to relive the moment with me. SO excited!!