Snowy day.

I've always been drawn to the idea of blogging. I like writing, I like keeping journals, I like talking to myself. ha ha... no, really. It's kind of like a think-out-loud type of thing. It gets me in touch with what's going on with me. No one else really needs to hear it, or in this case, read it, but I want to write it down, because most of the time I'm such a spaz, I can't remember what I was thinking just a minute ago, let alone yesterday or last week.

I can't tell you how many journals I have started over the years, only to get distracted and move on. I love going back and reading them...I always wish there was more. I think part of the problem is that the physical act of writing I find difficult. It hurts my hand. And, if you know me, you know I talk and think fast. My hand just can't keep up with that. But typing? Oh so much easier. I love to get it all out quickly and then edit edit edit. Copy. Paste. Make it perfect.

So this blog. What's it about? I'm not sure. I've had a lot of ideas over the years about blogs I think I'd be great at. None of them really get my fire going, though. Like everything else, I would probably get bored, distracted, or run out of ideas and give up - move on. BUT, then it came to me. Keep a blog - read: online journal - of my engagement and wedding planning process. So that's the starting point, and we'll see where it goes.

Now, don't get me wrong, I hardly think I am the first person to come up with this idea. Oh no, I am sure many a bride-to-be has kept and is keeping now a blog detailing every decision, every emotional up and down, every moment of bliss and excitement with regard to planning her wedding. This blog probably will steer away from just wedding (especially given the length of our engagement), and into my normal life - dealing with the stress of trying to balance this whole wedding planning thing with my full-time job/career, staying close to friends & family, not ruining the relationship my fiancé & I have been building for the last 3 1/2 years, and all kinds of other stress, whatever comes my way... oh and maybe some non-stress-related items too. Hey, who knows? No, I'm kidding. Hopefully it won't be all about stress. I'd like to think part of this  is about sharing & preserving how happy I really am right now about all the great stuff that's going on in my life.

I've been dreaming about my wedding for many years. I love my fiancé, and knew he was "the one" for me, long before we were even a couple. And to be honest, I think the signs were there even longer before that. I'm scared and excited to plan and prepare for this once-in-a-lifetime experience. The most important day of my life up to this point. It's a big deal. It's a really really big deal. To me. I know some people will think I'm ridiculous. I know many people don't view their wedding or any wedding to be such a big deal. But to me, it's a big effing deal. And right now, it's super-overwhelming trying to figure how to get from here to there, how to make it perfect, perfect for us, pull it off, not break the bank, and make it memorable not only for ourselves, but for all the people we plan to involve along the way.

But I'm really excited. And that's why I'm going to write about it. Hopefully it will also help keep me organized, on track, and provide a release for some of the stress. Primarily though, I want to do this so that in 20 or 40 or 60 years, when all we have left are pictures, and our memories are getting rusty, I will be able to go back and remember as much as I can not just about the day, but all that went into the day - the day I'd been dreaming about since I was a little girl. The day that all my dreams came true.