Delicious coffee.

I recently discovered I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy flavored creamer (fat free of course) in my coffee. I have been a coffee drinker since the first summer I was a counselor at my beloved childhood summer camp in Hope, Maine, Bishopswood. I was seventeen. The love affair (or addiction, depending on how you look at it) has never ended. 

I started drinking coffee-like drinks with my friends at Breaking New Grounds sometime in high school, but we largely stuck to hot chocolate, chai, and the occasional over-sweetened caramel latte. It was that first summer, working essentially 24/7, getting up early every morning, organizing activities all day, and dealing with the trials and tribulations of my cabin full of demanding, yet fabulous 12- to 14-year-old girls that made it suddenly not just appealing, but necessary. Also, it was there, and I wanted to be in the cool-older-counselors-who-have-to-have-their-coffee-in-the-morning club. 

I don't think I was fully "addicted" until the following summer, back at Bishopswood, when my duties as a counselor in a younger cabin, with two new co-counselors, and as an activity area leader, pushed me to the brink of insanity as the summer wore on. I haven't returned to Bishopswood since, sadly, but when I arrived at Sewanee, just days after that summer at camp ended, coffee became as much a daily staple, and a more and more severe addiction as the college years wore on.

Since I started drinking the coffee, I have gone through just about every phase of ways I enjoy it, from black, to with milk, creamer, fat-free half & half, or saturated with various flavors of Torani syrup. The one thing I do not particularly care for in my coffee is sugar. I like it sweet from time to time, but usually by way of a flavor, not just sugar itself. When I do crave sugar, it has to be that demerara/turbinado/sugar in the raw stuff. It's just lovely with a good cup at the end of a nice meal.

So my recent discovery was that a little flavored coffee creamer could really start my day off right. Maybe it's just masking the not-so-great taste of the cheap coffee I often buy for us at home, but it sure is nice to wake up with a little french vanilla or Italian sweet cream to put a little pep in my step for the day.

Anyway, that's enough about coffee, although it is a subject I could go on about for quite some time. About every other Friday I work the late shift at Summerwind. We're open until 8:30 most Friday nights, so we all take turns covering that shift. I have to say, I don't mind the sleeping in or the watching of the Today show on a Friday morning (especially a snowy, wet one like today), but it's not the most fun in the world to work late on a Friday night. Since I usually have Saturdays off, it delays the gratification of being done with work for the week - and it is not typically very busy at night at this time of year. Johnny isn't a huge fan either, as it messes up dinner and other Friday night plans. The other thing is, Friday morning in bed would be FAR more enjoyable if I could just stay there. ☺

So I think I'm starting to subconsciously dream about wedding details just about every night. I'm a little concerned, given that the wedding is not just months, but well over a year away. If this continues I may very well go insane by the time it actually comes around. I don't actually know what these dreams are about, I just wake up feeling compelled to pick up a bridal magazine, pour over materials (again) collected at the bridal shows, or blog. Or just do something.

I don't typically remember my dreams, as a general rule. Instead, I will remember who was in the dream, or one striking detail. I wake up feeling something. Not sure what, but something. Then, maybe later in the day, or even week, I see someone, or something triggers the memory. I guess it's something like déjà vu - except that it isn't my dreams predicting what's going to happen, they just make me feel or think differently when I next encounter the trigger. It's bizarre. And kind of unsettling. 

Going back to the bridesmaid issue from yesterday, I had a very vivid and unsettling dream about one of my friends the other night. She is one of girls I am on the fence about having in the bridal party. I really want to ask her, but I'm pushing my limits on size and still debating what to do about that. I have been thinking of asking her to do a reading or somehow be a part of it in another way. So then I had this dream that she was killed in a car crash. I mean, seriously? How am I supposed to read into THAT?! In the dream, I saw and grieved with her whole family, who I used to be somewhat close with, but wasn't planning on inviting to the wedding. So I woke up, thinking, okay is this telling me to invite her family? To have her as a bridesmaid so I don't lose her? Is this just a random dream because I've been thinking & obsessing over all my friends and this bridesmaid issue?! 

Needless to say, I could use some suggestions on how to get this crap off my mind, and AGAIN, I am starting to wish I took the advice of the bride with the longest-engagement-ever, and went on the six-months-or-less plan. It's like the old adage... so much to do, so little time! Oh wait, I mean WAY TOO MUCH time. 

just. breathe. ...